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Saturday, September 5, 2009

Standing Bear


We were at the twins’ club garage sale surrounded by a sea of double strollers, high chairs, car seats, and bouncy things when my cell phone rang.


The man on the phone told me I had won a trip to Alaska. I was one of six photographers picked to be part of a Grizzly Bear Photographic Expedition to the Katmai Coast leaving in a little over two weeks. I was chosen for my unique photographic style, which he had labeled “Naturalistic Impressionism.”


I would fly to Alaska, take a seaplane to the Katmai Coast, and sleep on a live aboard for seven days.


It was what I had been dreaming about. So I thanked him for the honor and accepted the invitation. At that moment, surrounded by my and other families, all I focused on was the honor of winning the trip and photographing birds in Alaska. I didn’t think about the Grizzly Bear part, at first.


But then, while still incredibly excited, I was a bit nervous before I left. Why do I want to photograph Grizzlies anyway? I know I like adventure, but it all sounded a bit risky.


It didn’t stop me though and before I knew it, I was standing 25 feet from the bear in this picture. It sounds strange, but the moment we looked at each other I felt safe. I was curious, grounded, my monopod in hand, my feet planted in the mud. It had been misting all day and my camera was under a rain cover.


For some reason, I felt the need to wave and say hello.


She rose.


We looked at each other.


In that moment, I felt we were equal. Until I remembered that that Grizzlies can run up to 25 miles per hour, stand at about 8 feet and weigh around 500 pounds.


But, I reminded myself, for all she knew I had a gun.


We were face to face.


Six photographers and a guides were with me, but all were looking the other way. The bear went back on 4 legs and all turned and yelled in hope that someone got the picture.


My friend Andrea got one. But she was too close and as she said, “That bear was looking right at you.”


The bear stands in front of me now, like a hologram.


She has been the topic of many conversations.


Those that live with her, who place her image on their walls, often tell me of her lessons.


To me she is a symbol of "Mother."


She is powerful, strong, protective, graceful, courageous, curious, and grounded.


And as a mother myself, I appreciate and honor those attributes.


* Stefanie Atkinson